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The study of individuality
is deceptively complex, and often results in a call for truly honest introspection. Hidden deeply within such introspection are sundry conflicts that are difficult to resolve. One initial issue is to decide whether individuality is "a boon or a bane". Western culture places an extremely high value on individuality; however, most Eastern cultures value conformity and abide by the "the nail that sticks up will be hammered down" principle. In spite of the supposed individuality of Americans, there is no denying that American pop culture is inherently conformist. As one seeks to become a true individual, it is important to continue such introspection and honestly identify one's own conformity... no matter how individual one truly is.
One real danger of being so concerned with non-conformity is becoming a "conformist to non-conformity". Which is worse: a person who goes out of their way to do what everyone else is doing, or a person who goes out of their way to make sure that they don't do what everyone else is doing? In essence, both are the same. Neither can make a decision without first checking the current status of popular culture. Both are reactionary, both are conformist, both are slaves to Kultur.
Another danger of being so concerned with individuality is becoming self-centered. If a person is constantly surveying their individuality in order to reaffirm it to themselves, they become increasing egocentric. Further, a preoccupation with individuality often results in an onslaught Narcissism. A person who values individuality and believes themselves to be an individual will often develop superiority complex because they believe that they are what they value. A fervent worship of individuality results in the propensity to deride conformity. "Conformists to non-conformity" are usually conceited elitists who cannot interact with "conformists" without distinct overtones of condescension.
But how can one possibly measure individuality? If one gauges their individuality by their deviance from popular culture, then one once again becomes a "conformist to non-conformity". If one tries to use others' opinion of themselves, they cannot consider themselves to truly be an individual. The crux of all of this is the fact that individuality cannot be consciously gained, only unconsciously earned. Again, the desire to even measure individuality indicates a lack of individuality. In many respects, individuality is like humility; the more conscious you are of such traits, the less you embody them.
So how can one truly become an individual? One defining mark of true individuals is that they please themselves. However, even true individuals perform actions they dislike, but only if it somehow, no matter how indirectly, results in something that they truly value. It's all a matter of priorities and values; this explains why an individual will submit to the drudgery of employment in order to have the resources to be able to do what they please. This also explains why even a true individual will deny their own will in order to submit to the will of another. An individual may love someone, not because of some compelling social expectation, but because they truly do. If a person performs an action only because it was requested by a loved one, it is not an indication that they sacrificed their individuality. A true individual will willingly perform such an action if they value pleasing their loved one more than pleasing themselves, and thus would actually desire to perform such an action.
So the real answer to becoming a true individual is to not give individuality another thought. Don't evaluate the individuality in yourself or others; such judgments only result in egocentrism. Be willing expand your horizons, but be willing to invest in what you already know that truly enjoy. If what you enjoy happens to be aligned with the current Zeitgeist, so be it. Just keep in mind that there is never any edification in an action performed solely to satisfy peer pressure. The summation of all of this can be found in the wise words of one Adam Ross, "be yourself, not someone else... arrive alive".
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